A View From the Cheap Seats

September 3, 2009

Shutting Up Those Darn Statistics

Filed under: Global Warming — trzupek @ 12:15 pm


By Rich Trzupek

A classic “Peanuts” cartoon features Charlie Brown and Lucy discussing the end of the baseball season. Charlie Brown is exuberant, extolling the virtues of his team. Lucy? Not so much. She proceeds to quote the damning data, which indicates that their team did not win a single game, barely got a hit and, all in all, was pretty much an insult to the national pastime. Charlie Brown considers all of this for a moment, before uttering the immortal words: “tell your statistics to shut up.”

Several decades later, in the middle of a “summer” during which the thermometer has rarely poked past eighty degrees on the Fahrenheit scale, much less ninety, those six words are still relevant. They sum up the attitude of the global-warming fanatics, who are absolutely certain that mankind is causing the planet to boil over, despite the lack of actual evidence to prove the proposition. “Tell your statistics to shut up” indeed.

A story that hit the press – okay, part of the press, since CNN and the rest of sheeple who make up the mainstream media wouldn’t touch this one with a ten foot windmill – a couple of weeks ago made it clear that the United States Environmental Protection Agency is in full shut the hell up with your damned statistics mode.

If you missed it, here’s the story in a nutshell. A USEPA staffer, Alan Carlin, Senior Operations Research Analyst at USEPA’s National Center for Environmental Economics (NCEE), put a paper together that questioned (horrors!) global-warming theory, as commonly presented and accepted in politically correct crowds.

Carlin said, in an e-mail that accompanied his study, that “the critical attribute of good science is its correspondence to observable data rather than where it appears in the technical literature.” He goes on to point out that the new studies “explain much of the observational data that have been collected which cannot be explained by the IPCC (International Panel on Climate Change) models.”

Translation: the IPCC models, which form the entire basis for global warming hysteria, do not correspond, and have not ever corresponded, to actual, real-world, observed data. There is, in other words, absolutely no evidence to suggest that the doomsday models bear any relation to reality.

Yet global warming is a matter of faith, not science, and the e-mail back from Carlin’s superior, one Al McGartland, Office Director of NCEE, reflects the fact that heresy will not be tolerated in our new hopey-changey era.

“The time for such discussion of fundamental issues has passed for this round,” McGarland wrote back. “The administrator and the administration has decided to move forward on endangerment (that is, human-caused global warming), and your comments do not help the legal or policy case for this decision… I can only see one impact of your comments given where we are in the process, and that would be a very negative impact on our office.”

Translation: tell your statistics to shut up.

The global-warming fanatics were quick to fire back, naturally, once this exchange came to light. Carlin, they sniffed, is an economist – what could he possibly know? And those studies that he quotes in his paper? Those are nothing more than pure poppy-cock – the ravings of a delusional minority who refuse to accept the truth.

One would expect no other response from the true believers. Challenging one’s faith is always a losing proposition. The fact that global temperatures have remained steady – and are now starting to drop a bit – since 2000? Irrelevant. The fact that upper air temperatures, which the IPCC models guarantee will increase as a result of burning fossil fuel, have not increased? Doesn’t mean anything. What is important, what is absolutely vital to the fanatics, are made up pictures of polar bears floating on ice bergs and slapping together data about steadily melting glaciers that – talk about inconvenient truths – have been steadily melting for thousands of years.

These are the “facts” that are passed off as “science” in this new medieval era. We are directed to ignore the evidence of physical science, indeed to ignore our very senses, and to give deference to the wisdom of the ancients – albeit that Al Gore is quite so ancient yet.

We should not be surprised that the Obama administration, and – by extension – Obama’s EPA, have moved so quickly to quash any dissenting notions with regards to global warming. The President did, after all, promise to reverse the rise of the oceans. That’s serious work, given that an entire planet – much less a solar system – factors into the equation. If you’re going to reverse the rise of the oceans, you better have the USEPA on your side. It would also help to have the biggest greenhouse gas emitters on the planet, which would be China and India, on your side as well, but we’re getting off track.

We’ll see what happens from here. The guess of your humble correspondent is that Mr. Carlin will be looking for employment sooner rather than later. It is never wise to point out that the emperor is buck-naked. When it comes to the religion that is global-warming theory, it’s positively career suicide.


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